I feel lonely. I feel I can't talk to her. Like it's forbidden for me to complain to her. Like she doesn't want to listen to me and my complaints, my problems, my heartaches. Seems to me that she is afraid of my sadness, my crying. I have a fear that every complain to her from me will add something to the long list of her problems with me. Each and every failure that I may feel in my life will add to that list. I feel that she won't listen to me "freely" anymore. Or at least she doesn't want to.
I feel no one around me to ask for help from. Though I didn't used to, before her. I used to keep them in me. But as she came in, I began to be used to tell her every single feeling that I felt in me: About her, about my life, about others and about everything else. No matter what it was, she used to understand me.
And now I'm alone. "Alone" in the sense that there is no one to understand me. There is no one to be willing to help me freely. There is no one. She used to be there for me, but now she wants to be happy, she wants to have her life, and it looks like she can't be happy with me. She won't be happy if she is to help me, and listen to my heartaches.
She is not in love with me anymore...
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